The Panthers have ruled over the NRL so long there’s kindergarten kids who think Ivan Cleary is the President of the Free World.
But after almost half a decade of tyranny and cocky IG posts, there will be no second four-year term in the Oval Ball Office for this despotic Panthers outfit.
Sure, it’d take a brave soul to write off a champion side that has reigned supreme through one pandemic, two governments and countless May brothers.
But this time feels different.
Why?
Not because they’ve lost five consecutive games or because the taxing Origin period is still to come, but mainly because their footy this year has been about as smooth as a Vegemite milkshake.
Whether it’s the staccato backline shapes, soggy defence or ham fisted field goal attempts, it’s clear the Panthers machine has curdled like a choccie Oak in the Mulgoa sun.
In fact, they have lost their plug-and-go game plan and mirthless aura so rapidly they’ll need a serious tailwind to challenge for a full 80, let alone the trophy.
Add injuries, suspensions and stadium upgrades, and every hemorrhoid dodged by the juggernaut club over the last four years is now being felt weekly.
Its a capitulation so sudden that it’s become a fascination for the discerning rugby league fan, with the side’s weekly fade-outs now appointment viewing akin to Gladys Berejiklian’s daily covid updates or anytime Spencer Leniu is benched.
But despite this five weeks of torment for Penrith, their long suffering fans don’t need to worry.
Sure, they may be wrestling with a crumbling empire and the shame of being mathematically in the hunt for 7th, but they can rest assured that Penrith’s premiership legacy will continue to live on.
Everywhere except Penrith, that is.
After riding out the last four years under suffocating Panther rule, it’s now the rest of rugby league that is benefiting from
Penrith’s premiership era.
Everywhere you look, there is magnificent Panthers playing like Panthers for everyone except the Panthers.
Stephen Crichton, Matt Burton and Viliame Kikau are the faces of the reborn Bulldogs, Jarome Luai and Api Koroisau are piloting a new era at the Tigers, while Leniu has ably replaced Jared Waerea-Hargreaves as the Roosters’ deputy principal.
The club is also sustaining most of the NRL’s depth too, with unsexy Western Sydney tradies everywhere like Zac Hosking, J’maine Hopgood, Ryley Smith, Sean O’Sullivan, Jack Cogger and Jaeman Salmon, plus many other unheralded names being paid above market value.
And if that’s not enough, coach Cleary has emulated The Craig Bellamy Institute and Tim Sheens’ Raiders of the 1990’s by subsiding the coaching ranks with Cameron Ciraldo and Andrew Webster.
The club has even branched out internationally, and once James Fisher-Harris hits his straps at the Warriors and assistant coach Ben Gardiner leads Samoa to a trophy, the club will probably be listed on the NASDAQ.
Add Sunny Turuva, Isaiya Katoa and Isaiah Iongi, and Penrith’s legacy lives on like the thousands of illegitimate children of an enthusiastic donor dad, or in the case of Jett Cleary, the legitimate children of an actual dad.
This generation at Penrith mirrors the fertile years of the Melbourne Storm patriarchy, an era that famously bankrolled Queensland dominance by stockpiling the Maroons with mass WMD’s.
The only differences?
Firstly, Penrith are supplying New South Wales – so it’s ethical – and secondly, their dominance has hit an end-point.
Yep, much like an agave or the hapless male victim of an alien seductress, Penrith has shed its seed and perished.
And with the club now left with nothing but four trophies, half a dozen Origin players and a pile of jerseys, we’ve finally discovered the only thing that could ever beat this champion side- the salary cap.
It’s an uneasy topic, but talent equalisation policy has made Penrith victims of their own prudent parenting- but there’s a moral win within for the defending premiers.
And with the club now left with nothing but four trophies, half a dozen Origin players and a pile of jerseys, we’ve finally discovered the only thing that could ever beat this champion side- the salary cap.
It’s an uneasy topic, but talent equalisation policy has made Penrith victims of their own prudent parenting- but there’s a moral win within for the defending premiers.
With the club still furnishing the NRL talent pool, it means in an abstract way they are still looming large over the premiership, albeit from afar and for minimal credit.
It’s cold comfort for Panthers fans, as I’m sure none will be sleeping soundly knowing they’ve saved the Bulldogs.
But it’s also a marked improvement on the sad old days at the club when the ‘largesse’ of their system was just Phil Gould fobbing off personnel to the Gold Coast, and with all due respect to Bryce Cartwright, Mitch Rein, Leilani Latu, coach Garth Brennan and the rest of the surplus talent he exiled north to the Glitter Strip, it’s no contest which headache their fans would rather be enduring.